We’ve talked before about how to supercharge family dinner rituals for physical and mental health, but what if the kids won’t even stay there for conversation?
Today’s live video uses research to prove the importance of family dinners, then goes into practical tips for getting little kids to SIT at the table, and our family’s way of using the “Levi habit” to build responsibility in our big kids!
Family Dinners Really ARE Important!
Can’t see the video? Click to watch “The Benefits of Family Dinners” on YouTube.
No time to watch the whole video? Here are the notes!
Benefits of Family Dinners for Families
- 2:38: We start with a dive into the research! Here are some of the benefits kids experience that are correlated with eating dinner as a family: reduce risk of smoking, drinking, drugs, and depression, and more resilience when bullied.
- 3:45: Kids have higher academic achievement, better relationships with their parents, and are less likely to be overweight. And it’s not just a little bit – kids were twice as likely to get A’s in school if they ate 5-7 family meals a week (compared to fewer than 2 times).
- 5:35: Family therapist Anne Fishel says eating together may be the most important thing families can do.
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I often have the impulse to tell families to go home and have dinner together rather than spending an hour with me. – Anne Fishel
- 6:13: Results are more marked in older kids, possibly because they are more likely to NOT be at family meals, so when they are, it matters more. They are also in a time of great stress and changes, and they need those family roots. But you have to start the habit young!
- 6:56: Is there any negative research regarding family dinners?
- 8:02: A definite benefit for young children is exposure to language – at the family dinner table, kids are exposed to 1,000 rare words (not found on a list of 3k most common words) and only 143 from reading together!
Can you find time to get as many members of the family as you can to sit down, and not just have a kid with his or her plate sitting in front of the TV by themselves because they were the one unlucky enough to have soccer practice at dinnertime. -Katie
The Do’s and Don’t’s of the Family Dinner Atmosphere
- 10:20: BUT–family dinners need the right atmosphere. We can’t be watching TV and on our phones or tablets. That certainly diminishes the quality and benefits of family dinners! Kindergartners who watch TV during dinner are more likely to be overweight by third grade, shown in multiple studies.
- 11:35: Parents need to set a good example, be warm and engaged. Screens do not belong at the table. Whatever you value in your family culture, make it a priority at the dinner table.
- 12:25: High school kids told Jessica Lahey, author of “The Gift of Failure,” that they want their parents to ask them about their life, not about school and grades. Make your dinner conversations count! Watch my interview with Jessica here, so good!
Keeping Little Ones at the Table
- 14:59: Practical tips for keeping little kids at the table. Kids running around or going back and forth between toys and dinner does not make for a cohesive family dinner.
- 15:13: If your child is two or under and leaving the table, they are not mature enough to be out of a highchair with buckles.
Chemicals in Pajamas?
Kids spend about half their time in bed and pajamas. Most kids PJs are laced with toxic flame-retardant chemicals or made with fabrics that will melt when exposed to flames and we say “No thank you!” to those in our house!
It’s tricky to find non-toxic pajamas, but I’ve got you covered! Some of our favorite brands of non-toxic PJs:
- Hanna Andersson is still mostly safe (on Amazon, and through Rakuten for the best deals)
- Target carries enough tight-fitting pajamas that it’s worth your time to check there, but many of theirs are not safe
- Primary
- Pact
- Burt’s Bees organic PJs (at Target, Amazon, and elsewhere)
We’ve got to have high standards and we have to be consistent. -Katie
- 16:28: How to explain the importance of staying at the table to your kids who are still little, but too big to buckle up, by using cause and effect and problem-solving with them.
- 19:34: Don’t miss this important step to ensure that your kids understand the expectations and avoid misunderstanding.
- 20:13: Here’s my #1 rule when I have to take a child’s plate away because they leave the table.
- 21:20: It will be hard, but following through will make for much less stressful dinners! Who can eat in peace with children running around? When you’re stressed, you don’t digest your food well.
Responsibilities for Kids at the Table
- 22:02: Building responsibility in big kids with one great dinner habit! Hear the story behind how the “Levi Habit” became a part of our dinner routine.
- 23:05: Here are the exact steps we’re teaching our kids to complete before they can leave the room.
- 24:43: Habits can be easily broken. If you have a day or two off of the regular family schedule, (ie you’re away on vacation, eat out, or at a friend’s house) expect your kids to need some extra direction or reminding to get the habit going again.
- 26:16: My Challenge for You: Now that you know how vitally important family dinners can be for your kids as they grow, my challenge for you is to eat together as a family at least 5 times a week. If dinner is impossible, focus on breakfasts, weekends, even a bedtime snack if it comes to it.
Make time together. Keep it healthy. Smile at your kids and look them in the eye without distractions from screens.
My son Paul wrote a real cookbook!
He and 4 friends have published a cookbook by kids, for kids, all healthy foods — Chef Junior.
If you want to see how kids write to kids and get some fab bonuses for supporting these 5 teen authors, buy the book and then redeem the bonuses the kids created!
Your kids’ future is worth it!
We really believe that the most powerful way to show kids that they matter, to show them how they can make a difference, is to get them in the kitchen and to teach them to cook.
So many positive character traits can be built in the kitchen.
Resources About the Benefits of Family Dinner
- USA Today Article
- Washington Post Article
- Center on Addiction Study
- The 2012 negative study
- My top tips for teaching table manners
- 7 Non-negotiable dinner rituals
- The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey and my interview with her
What You Should Do Next:
1. Subscribe to the Healthy Parenting Handbook Newsletter
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2. Try a Free Preview of My Cooking Class for Kids
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3. Enroll in the Online Cooking Course for Kids:
Enroll now in the Wall Street Journal’s #1 recommended online cooking class for kids (also rated 5 stars on Facebook). See what fits your family best HERE.
About Katie Kimball
Katie Kimball, CSME, creator of Kids Cook Real Food™ and CEO of Kitchen Stewardship®, LLC, is passionate about connecting families around healthy food. As a trusted educator and author of 8 real food cookbooks, she’s been featured on media outlets like ABC, NBC and First for Women magazine and contributes periodically on the FOX Network.
Since 2009, busy moms have looked to Katie as a trusted authority and advocate for children’s health, and she often partners with health experts and medical practitioners to stay on the cutting edge. In 2016 she created the Wall Street Journal recommended best online kids cooking course, Kids Cook Real Food™, helping thousands of families around the world learn to cook. She is actively masterminding the Kids’ Meal Revolution, with a goal of every child learning to cook.
A mom of 4 kids from Michigan, she is also a Certified Stress Mastery Educator, member of the American Institute of Stress and trained speaker through Bo Eason’s Personal Story Power.