We don't need kids to be the best, but we want them to do their best. -Mrs. Kimball

23: 3 Vital Strategies for Families to Raise Successful Children

We all want to raise successful children — not just in the kitchen, but in life! I’ve had over 40 “kid years” of parenting experience and I invite you to learn from our successes and failures along the way. These are simple ideas…but not always a cinch to implement!

The three vital strategies I’ll go over in this video are:

1. High Expectations
2. Consistency
3. Repetition

 

 

Can’t see the video? Click to watch “Strategies for Raising Successful Children” on YouTube.

No time to watch the whole video? Here are the notes!

How to Raise Successful Children

High Expectations for Our Kids

  • 2:46: We want to have high expectations for our kids. Most kids will never reach higher than we expect. We want to let them know that they have almost unlimited potential. There’s a fine line here. We don’t want our kids to think they can do anything because they can’t and we don’t want to set them up for disappointment, but we want to allow the space for them to thrive and reach for their goals.
  • 3:27: There’s a difference between high expectations and a high achieving mindset. We should allow our kids to fail because they will learn from these experiences. We can’t pave the way for everything to be easy for them. This is not how we raise capable, independent adults.
  • 5:11: Since the 1980s-1990s and onward we have had a very high achieving mindset prevalent among parents where there is a push for kids to get more achievements, more skills and experiences listed out on their transcript to get into a good college. That is not what I’m talking about when I say high expectations!

High expectations don’t always have to take more time – Katie

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  • 6:07: Giving kids high expectations means allowing kids to understand that we’re going to give them the space to figure out where their talents, skills and qualities lie.
  • 6:25: Listen in here for some examples of high expectations for kids including one for the dinner table. Read more about having high expectations at meals here.
  • 9:08: High expectations are often about: letting kids make their own decisions, letting them try and fail and letting them understand that we expect a lot of them.

Quote about kids doing their best

  • 9:18: There’s a huge difference in expecting kids to be the best which may be pushing them beyond their limitations versus doing their best which is challenging and achievable.
  • 10:18: Many parents are surprised by what their kids can do when they give them the chance to rise to higher expectations. We need to give them a fence that’s bigger than their current ability so they have room to run and then help teach them skills that will empower them to become independent. Here’s what some moms have seen in their own kids who are going through our course:

I was reluctant to let my kids in the kitchen, but my now 6 and 8 year old can regularly make lunches for everyone and have saved dinner on multiple occasions by helping cut down time on food prep. – KCRF Course Mom

Paleovalley Meat Sticks

It can be hard to find healthy snacks that you can take with you on the go. When I want the convenience of a jerky stick, but want a healthy, protein-packed snack option, I grab Paleovalley meat sticks. Paleovalley ingredients have these high standards that you can feel good about:

100% grass fed beef sticks, pasture raised beef sticks

  • 100% Grass-Fed Beef & 100% Pasture-Raised Turkey
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  • Contains no artificial nitrates or nitrites
  • Non-GMO
  • Naturally fermented and contain gut-friendly probiotics!

*With the exception of Teriyaki, which contains 2 grams of sugar from Organic Honey.

These beef sticks and turkey sticks taste delicious! My favorite is the Jalapeño but my kids love Summer Sausage.

Use this link to get 15% off your order at Paleovalley. Read my Paleovalley Review to learn more!

I haven’t had them do much helping in the kitchen until now because – as I’m sure most people say – it’s quicker and easier for me to do it myself. I realize now, however, that they are much more capable that I was giving them credit for and my life is going to be a million times easier when they are peeling and chopping their own veggie snacks! – KCRF Course Mom

My 5 year old son wanted a PB&J for lunch today. I was about to (reluctantly) stop what I was working on to make it for him when I remembered the eCourses he’s completed and said “actually, you can make it yourself because it’s all spreading and you learned spreading in your class.” He was delighted with that idea, I got out the materials, and he went to work. He was super happy and couldn’t wait to tell his kindergarten teacher that he made his own sandwich for lunch. Thanks for empowering my kid. – KCRF Course Mom

How to Raise a Successful Child 

Be Consistent 

  • 13:30: All the parenting books tell you that consistency is key. Here is an extra reason for you to be consistent that will save you brainpower! It’s not just a gift to your kids, it’s a gift to yourself as well.

There’s no reason for you to have to continue to reuse your brain power to make decisions that should be made once. -Katie

  • 16:18: Kids have to know that you mean what you say or else they continue to push the boundaries and take control.
  • 17:15: We do want to make sure that we don’t consistently hold on to something that is not serving our kids or our family. When you realize something is not working, be humble enough to admit that it isn’t working and figure out a new policy to be consistent with.

Quote about boundaries with kids

  • 18:43: It’s stressful for kids to not know where the boundaries are. If boundaries are shifty then the kids can’t be sure what boundaries are firm and which aren’t. Boundaries should be a little bit wider than where the kids actually are, but not so wide that they can’t see them.
  • 20:02: Successful child can be defined however you want it to be. I hope your definition is not based on achievement. I consider successful being kind, generous, faithful, independent, having good life skills and knowing how to make good decisions.

Raising Successful Children

Repetition is Key 

  • 21:16: Our third strategy is repetition. We don’t learn things well on the first try. The more you practice the better you get. Are we giving our kids the repetition necessary to cultivate life skills? This obviously applies to learning to play a sport or instrument, but it also applies when our kids are fighting and need to practice conflict resolution and kindness.
  • 22:55: A few years ago I learned this lesson of repetition the hard way. I was getting certified in scuba diving with my husband and oldest son. It was an incredibly difficult process and we felt so great when we finished! A few months later we had an opportunity to go for a dive and practice our skills. We did some review before we went down, but we didn’t go over everything and we almost had a crisis situation!

I never want you to be the mom who’s watching your kid go off into the world as an adult and is hyperventilating because you didn’t practice basic life skills like how to cook for yourself and what you should eat and how you treat other people and how you are responsible with your time. -Katie

Stay safe in the sun, with reef-safe sunscreens

Over the last decade+, I’ve personally tested over 120 natural mineral sunscreens, my standards are very high, and nothing I recommend is considered dangerous to coral reefs.

My top recommended tier with only around a dozen winners is where you really should be spending your time. These formulas are held to the highest standard with rigorous government testing.

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Find all my reviews of safe sunscreen that works here!

If you’re looking for the best reef-safe sunscreen, simply start there. Here’s a list of some of my ultimate favorites.

  • Kōkua Suncare with tons of antioxidants and my kids’ favorite scent and application (use the code KS for 15% off from Kōkua’s online store!)
  • 3rd Rock Essentials rubs in well and reliably prevents burns in our tests (use the code KITCHENSTEW for 20% off!)
  • Raw Elements for so many reasons, including their tinted stick for adult faces (all styles, use KS10 for 10% off!)
  • Maelove, which I call the best “transition” sunscreen when moving away from chemical ‘screens
  • Others that make the top-recommended cut: Badger, ThinkBaby, Adorable Baby, Kabana

If you’re worried about the white cast on your skin from zinc oxide sunscreen, check out my video on how to apply mineral sunscreen correctly to minimize it.

  • 26:55: At some point we won’t be able to hover and take care of our kids so we can’t always be the mom who is running after our kids and pulling them back. If there are skills we want them to have in life, we need to make them part of their lives.
  • 27:08: If you’re teaching your kids to cook that’s great, but make sure you give them opportunities to practice throughout the week. Otherwise you’ll need to reteach every time.
  • 29:38: You can even use technology to help you remember this. Set a notification on your phone to remind you to practice certain skills.

Resources on How to Raise Successful Children Referenced:

* How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims
* The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey (watch for an awesome interview with her here at the Healthy Parenting Connector in a few months!)

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What You Should Do Next:

1. Subscribe to The Healthy Parenting Connector

Katie Kimball

I interview experts about kids’ health every week – stay in the loop with a quick Saturday morning email:

 

 

2. Try a Free Preview of my Cooking Class for Kids

Our members’ favorite lesson is always our 10-minute knife skills and safety class, teaching techniques with unique & memorable phrases from butter knives to chef’s knives (ages 2-teen). Take a peek here and try it out with your kids.

3. Enroll in the Online Cooking Course for Kids:

Enroll now in the Wall Street Journal’s #1 recommended online cooking class for kids (also rated 5 stars on Facebook). See what fits your family best HERE.

About Katie Kimball

Katie Kimball, CSME, creator of Kids Cook Real Food and CEO of Kitchen Stewardship, LLC, is passionate about connecting families around healthy food. As a trusted educator and author of 8 real food cookbooks, she’s been featured on media outlets like ABC, NBC and First for Women magazine and contributes periodically on the FOX Network.

Since 2009, busy moms have looked to Katie as a trusted authority and advocate for children’s health, and she often partners with health experts and medical practitioners to stay on the cutting edge. In 2016 she created the Wall Street Journal recommended best online kids cooking course, Kids Cook Real Food, helping thousands of families around the world learn to cook. She is actively masterminding the Kids’ Meal Revolution, with a goal of every child learning to cook.

A mom of 4 kids from Michigan, she is also a Certified Stress Mastery Educator, member of the American Institute of Stress and trained speaker through Bo Eason’s Personal Story Power.

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