It’s a classic image:
Family road trip. Brothers and sisters fighting in the back seat, often so severely that the parents have to “pull over this van right now!”
To do what?
To repair relationships that are broken?
To fix something in one minute of yelling or cajoling that has taken years to develop?
Whenever I hear about siblings who truly dislike each other, who don’t even give one another enough respect that an older sib couldn’t possibly safely “babysit” the younger ones, my heart weeps a little.
I was thinking about our kids recently and how very MUCH they love each other. They’re proud of one another. They serve one another.
It’s beautiful and possibly one of the greatest gifts of parenting.
But how did it happen?
Today I’ll do my best to deconstruct what we might have done right and give you some action steps to build healthy, loving sibling relationships in your own family.
Can’t see the video? Watch Raising Kids Who Love Each Other here on YouTube!
No time for the video? Here are the notes!
Raising Kids Who Love Each Other
- 0:26: One of the best gifts I’ve received as a parent is kids who get along with each other.
- 1:00: Our kids support and encourage each other. Leah is our only girl, but she loves her brothers and loves helping them. Our youngest is so proud of his older siblings.
- 4:27: Getting siblings to love each other is not something that happens in a day, but you can start today to build that culture in your home.
Teach Kids to Love and Serve Each Other
- 5:00: We set up a “we love each other” culture from the beginning. We encourage them to encourage one another and remind them that siblings look out for each other and love each other starting when they’re little.
- 5:40: Because we value teaching our kids life skills and sharing family responsibilities they’re trained in ways they can serve each other and help take care of our family.
When our kids cook for the family, we always have everyone thank the cook. -Katie Kimball
- 6:47: It sounds a bit crazy to say that assigning chores builds stronger sibling relationships. I’d love to see some research to see if it’s true elsewhere, but I’ve definitely seen it be true for us. It creates a team mentality which brings us together as a family. More benefits of assigning family chores.
- 7:09: We spend time together. We prioritize family dinners, Sunday brunch and go on vacations together. My oldest got so busy this year as a senior, and we’ve all felt his more frequent absence at family dinners. Benefits of family dinner.
Solve Sibling Conflict to Build Bonds
- 8:14: Hurts will happen. Kids fight and break each others stuff. We have the same fights other siblings have, but they’re short because of how we’ve dealt with sibling conflict. Being sorry isn’t just about words, it’s about actions. I explain how I practically walk through a conflict with siblings.
Being sorry isn’t just about words, it’s about actions. -Katie Kimball
- 10:30: This last one may be a bit controversial. A little suffering and mutual enemy goes a long way bonding siblings together. Of course we aren’t being strict for the sake of being mean, but many parents feel that they’re being too strict and don’t want their kids to be upset with them. If you’re consistent and stand your ground on your family boundaries and all your kids are mad at you every now and then, a silver lining is that it can bond them more closely together.
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- 12:30: This obviously isn’t your only, or top strategy, but when you’re having trouble being confident in following through with boundaries you’ve set remember that this is a potential bright side to the situation.
- 12:54: I also wonder if siblings are more bonded when you have more than two. If two of them are fighting there’s someone else to go instead of being alone. You have more people to serve and more people on your team.
Practical Steps to Take Today
- 13:50: If you have kids older than 5 and they’re still fighting all the time it can be discouraging. Here are my 3 practical steps you can start today to begin a “we love each other” family culture.
- 14:05: Raise your expectations. It is possible for you to raise kids who love each other. I’m not supermom, if I can do it, you can do it too.
- 15:32: Make it a goal and be intentional. Talk with your spouse or others who are helping raise your kids. Say it like it’s true. “We love each other.”
- 16:17: Chose 1 thing from my five steps above and start working on that. I recommend starting with family dinners or family chores.
- 17:10: Obviously I also teach kids to cook here at Kids Cook Real Food™. Teaching kids to cook gives so many opportunities to serve others and express gratitude. You can check out a free preview here.
- 17:40: Our second season of Life Skills Now Summer Camp is coming up in June. There will be many great camp leaders teaching skills like gardening, letter writing, laundry, hospitality, car maintenance, finances and lots more! Get on the waitlist or signup for Life Skills Now Summer Camp here!
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Resources We Mention for Raising Loving Siblings
- Get on the waitlist or signup for Life Skills Now Summer Camp here!
- Join Kids Cook Real Food™ here!
- You can check out a free preview knife class here
- Benefits of assigning family chores
- Benefits of family dinner
What You Should Do Next:
1. Subscribe to the Healthy Parenting Handbook Newsletter
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2. Try a Free Preview of My Cooking Class for Kids
Our members’ favorite lesson is always our 10-minute knife skills and safety class, teaching techniques with unique & memorable phrases from butter knives to chef’s knives (ages 2-teen). Take a peek here and try it out with your kids.
3. Enroll in the Online Cooking Course for Kids:
Enroll now in the Wall Street Journal’s #1 recommended online cooking class for kids (also rated 5 stars on Facebook). See what fits your family best HERE.
About Katie Kimball
Katie Kimball, CSME, creator of Kids Cook Real Food™ and CEO of Kitchen Stewardship®, LLC, is passionate about connecting families around healthy food. As a trusted educator and author of 8 real food cookbooks, she’s been featured on media outlets like ABC, NBC and First for Women magazine and contributes periodically on the FOX Network.
Since 2009, busy moms have looked to Katie as a trusted authority and advocate for children’s health, and she often partners with health experts and medical practitioners to stay on the cutting edge. In 2016 she created the Wall Street Journal recommended best online kids cooking course, Kids Cook Real Food™, helping thousands of families around the world learn to cook. She is actively masterminding the Kids’ Meal Revolution, with a goal of every child learning to cook.
A mom of 4 kids from Michigan, she is also a Certified Stress Mastery Educator, member of the American Institute of Stress and trained speaker through Bo Eason’s Personal Story Power.