Be a Victor, Not a Victim: Control Your Own Happiness (HPC: E71)

“If only this would change, then I’d be happier…”

Ever found yourself thinking that and getting stuck in the “grass is greener” syndrome?

Turns out only 10% of your happiness is based on what’s happening in your life. 😮

That’s good news though, because even without changing our situation (toddler tantrums over the wrong color shirt, whack-a-mole 6-year-olds who won’t stay in bed at night, a floor that constantly needs to be swept or a tween who is being bullied at school) — we CAN change our Happiness Set Point!!!

Meet Margie Bissinger, a physical therapist who discovered that teaching happiness habits to her patients in chronic pain actually improved more than just their grumpy conversations.

You’ve heard from her before in this fascinating posture interview that has changed my family for the better.

Now Margie is back on the Healthy Parenting Connector to instruct us on the basic pillars of happiness and how it affects our health and our families.

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I love how the mind is at the foundation of it all, and even if you feel like you’re just wired for negativity (newsflash: all humans are in their brains), you can STILL make changes that help you tend toward more positive thoughts!

Learn how to be a victor, not a victim, and watch as I accidentally demonstrate a terrible way to hear a challenge! Ha! We also talk about how to take compliments in a healthy way, the purpose of a gratitude journal, and a game you can play with your kids and family that just may change the way they grow up seeing the world.

“Victims experience shame, blame and complain…” and they don’t need to! It’s time to figure out how to absorb the good, and I know you’ll hear something (or a few somethings) in Margie’s stories and practical tips that you NEED today.

Own Your Happiness Video Time Stamps

  • 0:50: Margie shares how she came to teach about happiness as a physical therapist and health coach.

I saw people getting joy and purpose back into their life. – Margie Bissinger

How Happiness (and Negativity) Affect Us

  • 3:43: The fact that increased happiness can speed up physical recovery and reduce pain seems shocking, but it really shouldn’t be too surprising!
  • 5:03: Margie talks about a Happiness Set Point in her work. She describes what that means for us. Only 10% of our happiness is based on our circumstances! 😮 Listen in here to find out what the other 90% is.
  • 7:10: Increasing our happiness can affect our physical health in many ways.  It can boost your immune system, relieve physical tension, reduce stress hormones (which has a cascade effect on many other body systems), improve sleep, and increase longevity.

Worrying about a dinner party is exactly the same physiologically as actually being in a car accident. -Margie Bissinger

  • 9:42: We talk about the family dynamic and how parental happiness affects children’s happiness.

When you get 20 compliments and someone says 1 negative thing: what are you dwelling on? -Margie Bissinger

  • 11:34: I share about a typical Sunday afternoon scenario at my house and how I can see my attitude affecting my family.

The Seven Pillars of Happiness

  • 12:51: Margie has seven pillars of happiness. The first one is the Foundation. If you can shift your mindset from being a victim to being a victor you’ll automatically be happier.

Be a victor and take control of the situation. -Margie Bissinger

  • 13:48: The second pillar is the Mind. We can rewire our minds to be more positive by focusing on the good, absorb everything positive that happens, and counter each negative thought with three positive thoughts.
  • 15:42: Third is the pillar of the Heart. Live with an open heart full of gratitude and forgiveness.
  • 15:56: The fourth pillar is the Soul. When you’re connected to something bigger than you, it’s easier to get back into alignment when you’re off.
  • 16:40: The Body is the fifth pillar. This includes nutrition, exercise, and taking care of ourselves.

If your cup isn't full, you're not able to give. -Margie Bissinger

  • 17:42: The sixth pillar is the Root. This means living your life with a passion and purpose.
  • 18:01: Finally is the Garden. Our garden is the people we surround ourselves with.

We want to cultivate nourishing relationships. -Margie Bissinger

  • 19:28: I spend so much time focused on feeding my family well and taking care of our bodies, but when I hear stuff like this I realize there’s so much more to health than just our food! In discussing this I unwittingly do exactly what Margie’s been saying not to do and focus on a negative!

Seven pillars of happiness

Practical Advice for Increasing Happiness

  • 21:10: There isn’t really an order to these pillars, but the foundation is really an important one to start with. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself. Start with the foundation and then add one thing at a time.

Victims experience shame, blame and complain. -Margie Bissinger

  • 22:46: Margie uses me as an example and gives me a challenge! Feel free to join me!
  • 24:22: We talk about a couple practical steps you can take to focus on the positive throughout your day.
  • 25:33: Margie shares what practices she’s found to be most helpful, especially for families, to build happy habits.

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  • 29:55: Margie shares a story about how her husband began teaching her happiness course material to his patients as an OBGYN.
  • 33:08: There are ways to sneak these happiness practices into your busy life. It won’t happen overnight, but you can build up happy habits and over time become happier.
  • 34:53: We end with a message of hope.

Resources We Mention About Happiness

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Be a victor! Control your own happiness!

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