Do you have a vision for your child’s life? Do you know what kind of person you want your kids to grow up to be?
Through tragedy and personal growth, Michelle Anne, CSME learned to become a CALM parent, and she would tell you to STOP IT. But of course she wouldn’t yell. 😉
This was one of the most unique interviews I’ve done on the Healthy Parenting Connector, and I know I’ll be thinking about it often in the days and weeks to come. Whenever someone comes along with a philosophy that totally challenges what you’re doing — and yet it’s ringing with a truth I can’t deny — it’s going to hurt a little bit to allow your brain to shift into a new belief, a new habit of life.
You and Michelle and I might not agree on the meaning of the universe…but I have to admit that she raised some awesome kids who all say she did a great job as a parent! From the daughter traveling through Germany to the son who realized as a college freshman that his late-night gaming was hurting his life, Michelle gives me hope that although parenting seems hard sometimes, letting go of control may actually be the best option.
She seems to have found the balance between boundaries and independence, between trust and acceptance, and I think you’ll learn something new from her too. If you don’t want your kids to behave just in front of you and be someone totally different when they’re out in the world (someone you might not like very much), this is a must-listen.
Warning: The advice is hard, but the results will be worth it. My favorite quote, which is in itself enough to hurt your brain just enough to make you consider change: “BE who you want your kids to be.”
One idea that blew my mind was the way she does discipline and how many people are involved! It’s something I may want to try in my family, although my 13-year-old thought it sounded terrible. 😉
I’d love to hear in the comments what you found groundbreaking, challenging, resonating, or downright something you don’t agree with. This is a conversation worth starting!
Watch How to be a Calm Mom on YouTube.
No time to watch the whole video? Here are the notes!
Calm Mom Video Time Stamps
- 0:04: Michelle Anne is the parent of 5 adult children and she’s going to talk to us today about letting go and letting your kids be themselves and how to raise successful adults without micromanaging.
- 1:13: Michelle shares her story and how she got where she is today.
- 3:47: There are a few popular sayings that basically say when mom is happy, the family is happy. Michelle unpacks some of her thoughts around that and how she found acceptance of herself, not happiness, is what impacted her family most profoundly.
How Stress Negatively Affects all Areas of Life
- 6:18: Michelle works with corporations to teach stress mastery to employees. Employers are realizing that stress at home is affecting an employee’s productivity at work.
When their kids come with a need, the parents are reacting instead of staying calm. They’re not listening because they need their kid to be good in order for them to get through the day. -Michelle Anne
- 8:04: Michelle explains what she means by “letting go of managing your kids.” Most people would hear that and think “well that’s not gonna work!”
Chemicals in Pajamas?
Kids spend about half their time in bed and pajamas. Most kids PJs are laced with toxic flame-retardant chemicals or made with fabrics that will melt when exposed to flames and we say “No thank you!” to those in our house!
It’s tricky to find non-toxic pajamas, but I’ve got you covered! Some of our favorite brands of non-toxic PJs:
- Hanna Andersson is still mostly safe (on Amazon, and through Rakuten for the best deals)
- Target carries enough tight-fitting pajamas that it’s worth your time to check there, but many of theirs are not safe
- Primary
- Pact
- Burt’s Bees organic PJs (at Target, Amazon, and elsewhere)
Practical Ways to Increase Mindfulness
- 10:24: We talk about some practical examples of ways you can increase mindfulness around how you raise your kids.
If you need your kids to be a certain way, they feel pressure to be that way around you, and they’ll be different at school. -Michelle Anne
- 11:59: Michelle clarifies what she means by setting boundaries and having some rules, but not pressuring your kids to be a certain way. She shares some of the ways she incorporates her kids in decisions and communication.
- 13:07: Since Michelle has adult children she’s been able to do fun things when they were teens like allow her kids to choose activities for vacation and involve everyone in the planning.
Their behavior affects their outcome. -Michelle Anne
- 13:35: Michelle shares a story about her daughter that shows how she took ownership and lived into the trust that her mom put in her.
I don’t micromanage. I help them learn, and they make decisions. -Michelle Anne
Raising Successful Adults
- 14:45: Michelle shares her #1 goal parents should have for their children and how it benefits them.
- 16:10: Listen in here for some tips on raising less judgmental kids.
- 17:53: Of course we discuss cooking with kids. 😛 Michelle shares how she’s involved her kids in the kitchen and given them independence and agency.
- 21:02: Michelle’s message is so encouraging to parents of little kids. She hit a rough spot personally and used that opportunity to become a better woman and thus better mom.
My son Paul wrote a real cookbook!
He and 4 friends have published a cookbook by kids, for kids, all healthy foods — Chef Junior.
If you want to see how kids write to kids and get some fab bonuses for supporting these 5 teen authors, buy the book and then redeem the bonuses the kids created!
Be Present in the Moment
- 21:39: We give you one practical step you can take for a quick win today.
- 23:13: I share a story that helps me be intentionally in the moment and who I want to be with my kids.
- 24:30: Going through your entire to-do list first thing in the morning tends to create stress. If you don’t get “enough” done by noon then you’re pushing stress onto the next day already. Michelle chooses one thing to get done every day. Appreciating the accomplishment snowballs positively throughout the rest of your day.
- 27:34: Michelle shares about a practice from eastern philosophy where you only focus on one thing at a time.
If you want to be somewhere other than you are, it will create suffering. -Michelle Anne
No matter what life throws at our kids, we need them to be resilient.
This free download will give you some practical and actionable steps to improve brain health and resilience.
Resources We Mention on Calm Parenting
- Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
- 4-part post with stress mastery educator interviews I did
- My Healthy Parenting Connector Episodes on Stress Mastery: part 1 and part 2
- Interview with Lisa Dorval on meditation and mindfulness for kids
Michele Anne is an Executive and Legal Consultant and Coach with a background in Psychology, Neuroscience, Stress Management (Human Behavior). Michelle’s education includes Neuroscience (Harvard University), Psychology, Behavioral Biology, Stress Mastery (American Institute of Stress), and Philosophy (Miami University).
Michelle has 30 years of training and coaching experience with a focus in family law, litigation, case strategy, client / witness preparation. She is an entrepreneur who has owned 3 successful businesses, while raising 5 kids. She has a strong sales, client relationship and creative background.
What You Should Do Next:
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3. Enroll in the Online Cooking Course for Kids:
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About Katie Kimball
Katie Kimball, CSME, creator of Kids Cook Real Food™ and CEO of Kitchen Stewardship®, LLC, is passionate about connecting families around healthy food. As a trusted educator and author of 8 real food cookbooks, she’s been featured on media outlets like ABC, NBC and First for Women magazine and contributes periodically on the FOX Network.
Since 2009, busy moms have looked to Katie as a trusted authority and advocate for children’s health, and she often partners with health experts and medical practitioners to stay on the cutting edge. In 2016 she created the Wall Street Journal recommended best online kids cooking course, Kids Cook Real Food™, helping thousands of families around the world learn to cook. She is actively masterminding the Kids’ Meal Revolution, with a goal of every child learning to cook.
A mom of 4 kids from Michigan, she is also a Certified Stress Mastery Educator, member of the American Institute of Stress and trained speaker through Bo Eason’s Personal Story Power.