Only 7% of Communication is your Words! How to Listen with C.A.R.E. (with a stress educator) (HPC: E66)

Tildet Varon learned the power of healing from within through numerous tragedies in her life, leading her to become a sought after speaker and inner mastery specialist. She helps people improve their personal and professional lives BY feeling less stress, not by working harder. She is a master at transforming stress into success and connecting to your own intuition and joy for a more fulfilling experience of life, and most importantly, she is a mom of 3 treasures.

In this episode of the Healthy Parenting Connector we’ll talk about the power of effective communication – how to hear and be heard – something all parents need for sure!

In this video you’ll learn:

  • How you can cultivate the skill of listening to your children
  • How to help your kids learn how to listen effectively
  • What comprises the additional 93% of effective communication if words are only 7%
  • The long term benefits of communicating effectively in your family

No time to watch the whole video? Here are the notes!

Listen with CARE Video Time Stamps

  • 0:35: Today I have with me Tildet Varon. She is a speaker and inner mastery specialist.
  • 1:16: Tildet calls herself an “inner mastery specialist.” She explains to us what that means.

We all have imperfections and strengths. -Tildet Varon

  • 3:13: We discuss how inner mastery affects communication. Sometimes parents interacting with children becomes a monologue instead of a dialogue. We may be receiving the sounds of our children talking to us, but are we really understanding what they are saying and letting it inform our response?

Hearing and listening are two very different things.  -Tildet Varon

  • 4:31: What’s the difference between hearing and listening? Hearing is an ability. Listening is a skill that we can cultivate.
  • 5:51: Tildet shares some practical advice to help parents learn to listen better and teach their children how to listen. She uses the acronym C.A.R.E.
  • 6:18: C is Concentration. Focus your attention on whoever you are speaking to. Communicate that you are present with them. Even if you are truly listening and understanding while you are multi-tasking, the person speaking may not feel listened to and heard if you appear distracted.

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  • 7:55: A is Acknowledging. As moms, we usually want to fix the situation or move through difficult emotions quickly. Sometimes we need to take a moment to just acknowledge the child’s emotions. (Example: “I see that you are really sad right now.” instead of “Don’t cry.”)
  • 10:29: R is Respond. Asking clarifying questions, paraphrasing to make sure you understand, asking for more information and other open-ended questions are all appropriate responses. Don’t make assumptions and plow over your child to fix the situation. Helping your child come to the solution on their own is empowering them to be problem solvers.
  • 11:48: Tildet shares a story from when her daughter was little.
  • 13:11: E is Empathize. We want to help our kids and do things to make it better, but sometimes we forget to just empathize with them. We can forget how big kids’ emotions can be about things that seem insignificant to us as adults.

Because they feel heard, now they're ready to hear. -Tildet Varon

  • 15:05: Our words are only 7% of effective communication. :O We can get so caught up in planning the exact “best” words to say that we forget the rest of the picture when we’re trying to communicate.
  • 15:54: What is the other 93% of effective communication? 

We need to practice compassion for ourselves as well. -Tildet Varon

  • 18:40: Our eyes say so much. They’re the most expressive part of our body language.
  • 19:28: Tildet demonstrates how a difference in speed can affect the message conveyed.
  • 21:33: We discuss some of the long term benefits to families when we can start communicating with C.A.R.E.

Listen with C.A.R.E.

  • 23:03: Tildet shares something that helped her especially when her kids were little.
  • 24:57: We distill down to one practical step you can take today.

Resources We Mention to Cultivate Communication

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